Expressing life her own way

On the afternoon of September 6, Tai Lihua was very busy in the Bird's Nest stadium, doing last-minute preparations for the young dancers in her troupe. That night they were to perform in the biggest show of their lives-the opening ceremony of the 2008 Paralympic Games in Beijing.

The dance is special for a very important reason. All the 109 young performers are deaf and mute.

As the leader of the China Disabled People's Performing Art Troupe, Tai calmed anxious nerves, checked costumes, hair ornaments and shoes.

"Believe in yourselves and remember you are the best," Tai said to the young performers using sign language, just before they stepped onto the stage.

The dance, a swirl of arms and hands moving like legs of dancers, was a great success, winning thunderous applause from the audience. Although Tai did not appear in the dance, she still feels excited and proud of her troupe's performance.

"After six months of practice, they presented the audience their best level [of performance] at the opening ceremony. I feel very proud of them," Tai said.

Besides directing the rehearsals of the performances, the 32-year-old Tai also helped with the design of the opening and closing ceremonies of the Beijing Paralympic Games.

"I would tell the director of ceremonies my ideas from the perspective of a disabled person, expressing the thinking of disabled persons," Tai said. She thinks that participating in the performance of the Paralympic Games will greatly advance the development of her troupe.

Former lead dancer

Before taking up the positin of troupe director, Tai was a top dancer. Most people know her from the now famous dance The Thousand-Handed Goddess of Mercy, in which she was the lead dancer.

The dance was first performed in public at the closing ceremony of the 2004 Paralympic Games in Athens. All the 21 dancers in the dance were deaf and mute. As they cannot hear the music, these dancers can only perform through reading the hand signs of the dance instructors standing at the four corners of the stage, which makes the precision in performance almost magical. The dance was also a huge hit after it aired on the 2005 Spring Festival gala of CCTV, China's national TV station.

In the dance, the graceful dance movements and Tai's Goddess-like smile held audiences captivated.

"Tai is the best dancer I have ever seen," said Zhang Jigang, director of the dance and also the vice director of the opening and closing ceremonies of the 2008 Olympic and Paralympic Games. "She just has the sense of dance."

But more than her dancing, people are more touched by her spirit, which has helped spread the story of this enchanting woman.

Rescued by music

At the age of 2, Tai lost her hearing after a fever. She did not realize she was different to other children until she was 7 when she was sent to a special school for the deaf and mute.

To a little girl who once owned a beautiful voice, this realization was almost fatal. She was thrust into a deep depression and spent all her time alone. But a music class at the special school totally changed her life.

"Our teacher beat a drum on the floor and I could feel rhythmic vibration passing under my feet over the floor," Tai said when remembering her childhood.

She was totally thrilled by the vibration and bent over the floor to press her face and hands and even her whole body to the floor to feel the vibration and rhythm. Dance and rhythm have become her lifelong friends since then. In the following years, whenever she saw dance performances on TV, Tai would like to press her face closely to the loudspeaker to feel the rhythms of different beats.

When she was 15, she was selected by the China Disabled People's Performing Art Troupe, an unofficial troupe for special art founded in 1987. She was chosen as a dancer and began to receive professional dance training. Through sheer will and hard work Tai made dance her form of expression.

"The only way for me to learn dancing is to remember, repeat, and remember again, until I can feel that a band is alongside me and can play music for me at any time," said Tai. In her eyes, dance is a visible and colorful music and a beautiful language to express her inner world.

The persistence and hard work paid off. She became one of the best dancers of the troupe. Along with other members, she has visited over 50 countries and performed in all the world's leading theaters, including New York's Carnegie Hall and Milan's La Scala Theater. In 2000, a huge poster of her dance The Soul of the Peacock was posted in Carnegie Hall, the first time this had been done for a Chinese performer.

Another form of art

But Tai does not care too much about honors or fame. She has refused many advertisement invitations from various enterprises. "I am a dancer and I need a quiet life," she said.

She was not satisfied with the achievements in dance and set herself a new goal. In 1994, she was admitted to the Hubei Art Institute, majoring in design and decoration. While at university she was immersed in another world, that of painting, which greatly enriched her understanding of beauty and art.

One of her paintings shows a person against a dark background. In the black space, Tai drew a lot of ears, eyes and suns. Through this drawing, she hopes to express that the blind can hear the world with ears, the deaf and mute can see the world with their eyes and the sunlight makes people feel the hope of life.

"For me, dancing is the best way to express myself. It's the most beautiful language in the world. Painting is static while dancing is dynamic," Tai said. "I can always imagine the music I ‘hear' and draw it on paper. Such a combination helps to improve my performance."

Troupe leader

Tai Lihua lost her hearing at the age of four. (Image: Beijing Review)Now, Tai has reached another turning point in her life, which is the transfer of her role from a pure dancer to a leader of art troupe. Tai said she feels a lot of pressure now because she has never done other work besides dancing before. She feels a lot of responsibilities and she has to deal with work in a wider range.

"I have to do much more work than before, but I believe that I can manage, as there are a great number of people supporting and helping me in the wings to develop the troupe," Tai said.

She now finds that many young dancers in her troupe are growing up and she feels that they are the continuance of her dancing life.

"Now I hope to input all my energy into the development of the troupe, especially the young members." Tai said.

According to her, there are 153 disabled performers in her troupe right now. Although some of them cannot see, some cannot hear and speak and some cannot stand on their own, their artistic levels are the same as any able-bodied artists. Besides the dancers, world audiences were also amazed by the emotional and soulful voice of a blind singer, exquisite playing by a blind pianist and a blind flute player at the opening and closing ceremonies of the 2008 Paralympic Games.

"Maybe because they feel that the opportunities are very precious, they make greater efforts to realize their dreams. What is more, all of these young performers in our troupe have a happy and positive attitude to all they have gone through in the life." Tai said, explaining the reasons why she wants to help these disabled youths to succeed.

The performance of the troupe is called My Dream, which covers dancing, singing and playing instruments. Through it the troupe has won the respect of the world.

Helping others

Tai said that currently her dream is to create a special form of dance so that all the disabled can get involved, that is to say the blind could "watch," the deaf and mute could "hear" and the crippled could "perform." But she also admitted that she needs help.

All her life experiences have given Tai an optimistic character. She thinks people should feel satisfied and be happy all the time. After seven years of courtship, Tai got married in 2003. She feels happy with her current life, and always has a gentle, yet confident smile on her face.

"The thousand-handed Goddess is kind-hearted and she will extend a thousand hands to help anyone in difficulty. The disabled have care and love from society and we also hope our hands can help all those who need us," Tai said.

Her troupe has set up a fund called My Dream Harmonious Fund, aiming to help charities worldwide. According to Tai, to date the fund has donated 2.6 million yuan ($361,000) and $350,000 to various charity organizations, including $100,000 to the Lions Club International Fund, which will be used in the SightFirst program of the club to help cure the blindness worldwide.

On September 15, Tai was granted an award for her outstanding efforts in serving the disabled by the United Nations and the China Disabled Persons' Federation. At the award ceremony in Beijing, Tai said that the physical imperfectness of the disabled is not misfortune, but just an inconvenience. Every disabled person has a dream and hopes to realize it, she said.

"Our dream is never-ending and I hope we can build a world full of love through special art," Tai said.